I grew up with straight, Christian friends who would use gay slurs to describe queer men and women. A recent study by LGBT+ young people’s charity Just Like Us found that two thirds (68%) of lesbians have delayed coming out due to harmful stereotypes, such as gay women being “man hating” or “over sexualised”. A third of lesbian, gay, and bi people of faith (32%), and one in four trans people of faith (25%), aren’t open with anyone in their religious community about their identity. According to LGBTQ+ charity Stonewall, only half of lesbian, gay, and bi people (46%) and trans people (47%) feel able to be open about their sexual orientation or gender identity to everyone in their family. Stereotypes about lesbians – and any member of LGBTQ+ communities – can have a severe impact on self-worth and identity. According to LGBTQ+ charity Stonewall, only half of lesbian, gay, and bi people (46%) and trans people (47%) feel able to be open about their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Every question I faced was male-centric, which is doubly bizarre as a lesbian. As though my sexuality had an expiry date or that I was by default heterosexual. People would assume – and even ask in instances – if I had been sexually abused by men, or hurt by men, and when I’d “go back” to dating men. The assumption and subtext always being that they would return to dating men before long.Įven though I had queer thoughts since childhood, I began to question whether this was because of the experience (or lack thereof) with male figures. When I was 18 and at college, some girls I knew came out as bisexual, only to be met with accusations that they were just tired of boys, or had been “hurt” by men. It can be shaped by many things, such as what people think about you, as well as the harmful stereotypes that exist about lesbians. But when a queer person comes out to themselves is the most important part. And to a certain extent, still do today.Ĭoming out as a member of the LGBTQ+ community is a journey. Now, at 31, I think back to how anxious I felt back then a masculine-presenting lesbian. People would call me “gay” as a slur, and while I rejected the idea that I could be queer to them, my mind knew I was attracted to girls. At secondary school, I would bunk lessons with them. From the age of three, I played football with my male neighbours and friends. I have been a tomboy for as long as I can remember.